The Ellen DeGeneres Show: You know when you see on the news, like a water main breaks, it was worse than that. There was water everywhere, just flooded everywhere. So we had to call Roto-Rooter and so, you know that's nice to have a Roto-Rooter truck right in the middle of a party, that classes it up. They spend hours snaking out the toilet and it's not like people were drinking and needing to use the bathroom, 300 people. And so the whole time they're snaking the toilet and there's that [noises] going on and then the guy's like "there's Diane Keaton." So like 2 hours later, this is what they pulled out a toilet: a cocktail napkin, a paper towel, and a child's plastic bracelet. All flushed down the toilet. So I'm assuming it was a kid, or Ron Howard. He was there and he was wearing that. And while that was happening, as if it wasn't enough, paparazzi showed up and Roto-Rooter found them trying to climb through the drainpipe. Thinking about that, and I drive another block, and this is all in this area near our studio, there's a van, here's another picture I took of another, Topless Maids $99. And there's a phone number and it starts with 666, you know it's from the devil, the devil's work. And 666-HUGE is the phone number because obviously they come with huge vacuum cleaners, or something. But I have so many questions about it. First of all I hope it's an advertisement, I pray it's not a van full of topless maids stuck in there like, that's the phone number you call to get them out. Second of all, do the maids come to the house in that van? Because I was embarrassed enough when Roto-Rooter was parked outside my house. Family Feud: Brad let's go, we told 200 women to name a tool that your husband reminds you of in bed. What about a plumber's snake? [laughs and applause] The Roto-Rooter Man! Jerry Springer: Is that like a Roto-Rooter? How do you clear one's head? News story: Wrestling's Monday Night Raw is not fake, at least last night's show wasn't. Jerry "The King" Lawler had a heart attack, for real, during last night's Raw match. The King collapsed during the broadcast and was taken to the hospital. Doctors performed an angioplasty, sort of like Roto-Rootering, and he is now in stable condition. TMZ: "Something stinks about this." "Kristen Stewart, herself, actually. She doesn't shower much." At this point in the meeting, Harvey and the newsroom babble incessantly about Kristen Stewart's bathing habits and personal hygiene. It was a fascinating and thought-provoking discussion that somehow led to this. "What happened to Roto-Rooter? They don't have Roto-Rooter, it's gone!" It is? Huh! Too bad. Well at least we'll always have that awesome theme song, "Call Roto-Rooter, that's the name" "And away goes troubles, down the drain." Breaking Pipe Clogging News! "Roto-Rooter still exists" "No! It's gone!" "It's the number 1 plumbing company in North America." Yeah! And as long as there are Rooters to Roto, they'll be going strong! Unlike Kristen Stewart in a committed relationship. "And away goes Robert, down the drain." Please stop singing that.